


3 AM Memories

by PressCancel



Series: Despair is Universal [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, F/M, I don't actually know how scales work, I only took basic music okay, I say like anything I put on here is, I'm horrible at writing angst, Not Beta Read, and I never actually played attention, like anyone does, mastermind Kaede what the fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PressCancel/pseuds/PressCancel
Summary: Something inside of her snapped.A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe.She relished in the pain, every scrape a reminder of the Despair yet to come.And she loved every bit of it.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Despair is Universal [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162706
Kudos: 11





	3 AM Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Haha teen rating for mild sexual content  
> Why have I been writing so many Saimatsu fics- brain why

Piano. When the world was crazy and nothing was certain- piano. When she couldn't sleep and was haunted by invading thoughts-piano. It was Kaede's escape from the world.

It was virtually impossible.

She focused and breathed, but she kept forgetting. Being in the simulation- being who she was in the simulation, with all her time focused on the next betrayal, the next exciting plot twist- had rendered her fingers-her stiff, clumsy fingers- useless.

So she was doing scales at 3:00 in the morning. She couldn't sleep anyways, she kept remembering her death... and Rantaro's.

_And all the deaths I caused._

She laughed, a mirthless noise, and did what she always had. She looked for an escape from the pain.

_Scales._

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

Different piano keys. Dragging her, lifting and lowering her body. Faster and faster.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

Faster and faster- too fast. She wanted to scream, to beg them to stop, to end it, in any way possible.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

She was going to pass out. She welcomed the sweet relief of unconsciousness, knowing the numbness was temporary. The only thing that could offer permanent release was death.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

She would gladly accept it, if it was her time to die. It was a miracle she hadn't passed out yet.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

She deserved this. She had killed Rantaro- who was that again? A classmate?

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

She had killed him. She was a murderer. This was what murderers deserved. Hadn't she chosen this? And yet, she couldn't remember her crime properly.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

"Kaede!" Mm, who was that? The voice conjured up memories- waking up in a classroom, investigating a campus, running from giant mechs, discovering a corpse- a corpse that she had killed.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

"Shuichi." She knew he couldn't hear her, but his cries grew even louder. She turned. If she had to die, she wanted his to be the last face she ever saw.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

And then... something inside of her snapped.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

She relished in the pain, every scrape a reminder of the Despair yet to come.

And she loved every bit of it.

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

More memories flooded through her head as she rolled Shuichi's name on her tongue. Private ones, lazy ones. Of him next to her, legs tangled in the sheets. His face was red and she was sure hers was too, but the way she felt, in those moments, the way he made her feel...

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

The way he could take her breath away, just by looking at her, the way she knew he felt the same...

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

The way his face broke down when he found out, when he realized what she had been all along...

_A, b, c, d, e, f, g. Breathe._

It was too much.

She crumpled to the floor, muffling her cries in her sleeve.

She had loved Shuichi, and she had lost him.

And now he hated her.

She deserved it.

**Author's Note:**

> Haha I kinda love the mastermind Kaede thing, I wasn't originally going to use that but it worked so there we go


End file.
